And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
