he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
