Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
