There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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