Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
