I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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