Banned from zoo.
Again?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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