Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
