Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Who died my cat blue again?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
