Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
