we're making bets on your personal life
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
