I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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