Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
