Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
