yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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