Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
