I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just gift wrapped bread.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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