Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This baby is an asshole
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
