every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
