Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize