Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
