She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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