Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
