So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize