dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
