Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
