U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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