My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
