who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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