East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
