i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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