i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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