Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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