What a fucking waste of an outfit
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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