how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
handjob tips. give me some.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
