I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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