The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
