So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
