By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize