im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
