There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
