He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize