I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i think i have two assholes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
