Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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