Christians are straight up FREAKS
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
