You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I love you. Go after that dick
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
