he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
