shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
