I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize