last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
