one two three fourrrrnication!
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
