Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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