Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
