A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
