i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
