Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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