It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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