it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
