cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize