fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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