we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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