I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
