did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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