some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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