we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
