apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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