god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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