Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
