how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize