he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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