Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
