did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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