i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Randomize
