Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's Friday. Sex?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
