I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize