i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
