you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
