I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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