so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
honey bunches of taint.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
