Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
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