Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize