So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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