I accidentally had phone sex last night
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
