trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
