we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
