I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
