I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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