They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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