I can tuck mytits in my pants
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
